Day 26: Supportive Friends
If you are struggling with anxiety or depression (or both--as is often the case), it helps to have supportive friends. This is what I mean by "supportive": people who will point you to truth and peace, not those who will verbally "bash" those you may be frustrated and/or angry with--or who seem to be "making you crazy" at the time; those who will listen and not overreact to, commiserate with, or FEED your negative emotions--yes, it's great to have friends who can IDENTIFY, but creating more drama and ESCALATING the negative emotions is not helpful; people who will remind you who you REALLY are--those who lift you UP and give you hope; people who don't spend their time gossiping about others, but rather can be TRUSTED with things you may want/need to share with them that are of a sensitive nature; people who will lead you into actual FUN--these are friends who are fun to be with; people who have been through similar circumstances YET (that's the key word) have not let those things ROB them of their identities, hopes, or dreams (thus, the "not commiserating").
Yes, it's okay for a friend to share in your tears and sorrow--but you need people who won't encourage you to STAY there--people who aren't going to say "Man, that's awful. No wonder you're so depressed" or "Sounds pretty hopeless to me." Pray today that God would give you supportive friends to "carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). And ask Him to heal your emotions so that YOU can be a supportive friend as well. Yes, it may be a process, but relationships are a gift--and healthy ones are SO worthwhile.
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me this weekend of the tremendous, priceless gift of supportive friends.
Day 27: Trivial Pursuit?
Today I want to simply remind you of a truth from God's Word--and His heart. Ready? Your issues related to depression and anxiety are not trivial. God understands all your "stuff." And He CARES about all of it too. Why? Because He cares so deeply for YOU. Anything that affects YOU is a concern to HIM.
Matthew 6:26 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Yet when we struggle with depression and anxiety, we question our worth. It's not that we don't think God LOVES us, but we compare ourselves to others who seem to be thriving in life and think--even if just subconsciously--that God must be more pleased with them. Isaiah 41:13 (ESV) says, "For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”" He WANTS to help us through ANYTHING we are going through--because of "what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God" (I John 3:1a, ESV).
As His children, we are NOT trivial. In Jesus' own words, “If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray?” He pursues us because He loves us. Any of our life circumstances are not trivial to Him because we are not trivial to Him. YOU are not trivial to Him. He loves you. YOU are His beloved.
Let me end with this wonderful prophetic message God gave to Graham Cooke several years ago in Vacaville, California. There is a worship/musical intro, but be patient and listen to the whole thing. It is SUCH an important message--take hold of it today. Let it sink into your spirit. NOTHING you can do will change the blessed truth of who you are to Him--Father God.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgzXXKjaPZA
Day 28: All About the Light
"The enemy is not content to depress you. He really wants you for an ally. He wants to subvert you. He wants you on his side, even by default. He wants to win us over to a passive acceptance of our circumstances. We become fatalistic very easily. “Oh well, you know, that's just life.” No, it flipping well isn't! I think you should rattle the bars of your circumstances. We are not just here to say, “Oh well, that's life. You win some, you lose some.” When you make allowances for losing, guess what? You lose!" (From OVERCOMING NEGATIVITY THROUGH REST, by Graham Cooke)
And THAT is not our lot in life. Losing is not part of our identity. We are “more than conquerors,” yet often we live like we are still bound. We reason (and sometimes without realizing it) that we are “guilty” because we struggle with depression or anxiety—and so we conclude that we somehow deserve it. Depression and anxiety, the very things we struggle with, are a “just punishment” for us. How ludicrous! Yet I can attest to the fact that I have thought this way—and I KNOW many others have as well.
Hebrews 10:10 is the verse God gave me this morning. I wasn’t sure what it was until I looked it up. It says: “And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all,” referring to the will of God that we be set free from sin and have once-and-for-all restored fellowship with God. Verse 1 of that same chapter tells us, “The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming—not the realities themselves. For this reason it can never, by the same sacrifices repeated endlessly year after year, make perfect those who draw near to worship.” It may not be through goats and sheep, but WE try to live under the law nonetheless. Often we try to “be better Christians” by reading our Bibles every day, spending a certain amount of time doing devotions, or even serving in church ministries. NONE of those are bad things! But when we think—in the back of our minds—that if we DON’T do them we are somehow LESS approved, LESS loved, LESS holy, we have warped thinking—and that’s where the enemy can come in and subvert us.
Satan wants to cause us to believe that our very circumstances are “just the way things are,” which lines up with living a depressed or anxious life. Jesus died once for ALL, and in so doing, WE who have believed on Him have been made HOLY. We must look at our lives from THAT perspective. We are ALREADY holy—it’s not through what we do that holiness can be obtained. We already HAVE it—because of what Jesus did in dying on the cross. That holiness exists in spite of anything we may struggle with. Yes, of COURSE we are not to willfully sin. But sometimes we convince ourselves—at least subconsciously—that we are HORRIBLE people, sinners if you will, because we battle anxiety and depression.
The truth is, we are HOLY people who have struggles. But God says that we can overcome these by “the blood of the lamb” and the word of our “testimony.” The blood of the perfect Lamb has already been shed. Our testimony has to do with what we say—what are we going to speak or declare? Does it line up with what God says about us or what the enemy says? No, declaring that we are overcomers, children of God, holy and set apart, His beloved—and other truths—won’t AUTOMATICALLY cure us of anxiety or depression, but it WILL lift our perspective as we begin to both SAY it and BELIEVE it. We HAVE to believe that God WANTS freedom for us. HE doesn’t see us through the lens of our depression or anxiety but through His PERFECT perspective—which sees us as “holy and dearly loved” (Colossians 3:12). It’s not as if He is UNAWARE of our struggles—but they are not what DEFINES us.
When you struggle with depression or anxiety—when bad things happen, it’s easy to conclude that “it figures” or “bad things ALWAYS happen” or “things will never change.” We are looking at our lives through the LENS of HOPELESSNESS, DOUBT, even SHAME—not what is really true. We are God’s children, so there is nothing that happens that cannot be used for our GOOD. He LOVES us! So we don’t have to BOW to our circumstances. Our Good Father wants to teach us to rise ABOVE them—to look at them from our place of redeemed, holy sons and daughters. The KING is our Father—He’s not going to leave us in the dungeon! He has actually barred the door to keep us out, but WE keep going to find the key!
It may not FEEL accurate; it may not FEEL true; you may not FEEL worthy—but purpose in your heart today to see yourself as HOLY—or at least tell yourself that you ARE; it was God’s will for Christ to die so that you could be! “Holy” means “dedicated or consecrated to God.” That means you belong to Him. You are not a victim of your circumstances, or of any struggle or illness. God says you were worth EVERYTHING He had to give—to make you HIS. Today, when the enemy tries to make you his ally, tell him who you REALLY are, “…a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light” (I Peter 2:9). DARKNESS is not your portion. You are ALL about the LIGHT. "You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness" (I Thessalonians 5:5).
Day 29: LIVE Your Life
Singer Pete Wentz, who has suffered from depression in his
life, said, “The hardest thing about depression is that it is addictive. It
begins to feel uncomfortable not to be depressed. You feel guilty for feeling
happy.” Can you identify? I remember having that same “guilt”—‘I shouldn’t feel
happy—I don’t DESERVE to feel happy’ or ‘This isn’t REAL—after all, it’s not
gonna last.’ This is one reason depression can be so debilitating long-term.
Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones said, “I’m not the kind of
person who likes to shout out my personal issues from the rooftops but, with my
bipolar becoming public, I hope fellow sufferers will know it is completely
controllable. I hope I can help remove any stigma attached to it, and that
those who don’t have it under control will seek help with all that is available
to treat it.”
According to an article at beliefnet.com, “Drew Barrymore, the sweet little girl from E.T. and star of films like Ever After and The Wedding Singer has a dark history with depression. In her teenage years she struggled with drugs and alcohol along with her depression, eventually being diagnosed as bipolar. Over the years her highs and lows have become less and less, but it is still something that the actress deals with every single day.”
Former
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and current NFL analyst (and actor) Terry
Bradshaw seems easygoing and carefree, but in the 1990s he was diagnosed with
clinical depression. All throughout his football career, he struggled with
panic attacks. These problems no doubt contributed to his three divorces, which
led to weight loss and insomnia. Terry is now
an advocate for victims of depression and encourages others to seek help.
Depression is not confined to a certain period in
history—it’s been around as long as there’ve been people. What did Abraham
Lincoln, Georgia O’Keeffe, William James, Sigmund Freud, William Tecumseh
Sherman, Franz Kafka, and the Buddha have in common? According to their
biographers, they all suffered from depression.
Likewise, there are MANY people you may not expect who
suffer from anxiety disorders. See http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/famous-people-with-anxiety-disorder.
Those who do advise such tips as exercise, making stresses FUN, writing things
down, and realizing that ALL anxiety matters (it’s cumulative, so we must be
careful what anxiety-producers we allow in our lives), among others. There is
help available, but the first step is recognizing how anxious we really ARE—so
that we can take steps to address our anxiety. I took the following anxiety
test—based on my answers, my current anxiety level was 63. I encourage you to
take it. Be honest. It may be eye-opening.
There are SO many famous people—the people we tend to
idolize to some degree—who suffer from depression or anxiety in some form or
another. This just goes to show that these maladies are not limited to economic
or social status, age, race, background, career path—ANYONE can suffer from
them. The message of many of these very public figures seems to be virtually
the same—GET HELP.
We are NOT powerless in terms of our anxiety and depression
cycles and struggles. Sometimes, if we really want to move forward and be
healthier, a lifestyle change is in order. Some of these may include diet,
exercise, getting more sleep, and learning relaxation techniques. Realize that
what may be relaxing to someone else may not be relaxing to YOU. I had to
learn—and am STILL learning—what it takes for ME to relax.
Social support is another key to overcoming the effects of
depression and anxiety. One of the HARDEST things to do when we’re anxious or
depressed is to stay connected—but it is also ESSENTIAL that we do.
Medication can treat these conditions up to a point—but our
MINDS and EMOTIONS need healing as well—and only God can provide complete
healing in those areas. Counseling and interventions that explore root causes
and coping strategies can be very helpful. Don’t discount those things or be
ASHAMED about using them. God has provided many resources to help us on our
journeys. I encourage you to get the help that you need—whatever that looks
like for YOU. LIVE your life, don’t just endure it or survive it—LIVE it.
Day 30: Perfect Love – written by my friend (and author), Gabby Heusser
I asked Gabby to write something on fear to share with those of you who are a part of this group because I believe it is SUCH a kingpin issue for MANY of us—as it was for her. Listen as she shares from her heart, what God has laid on it just for you:
Perfect Love
Fear was an issue that I struggled with all of my life--until Jesus handed me the key that would forever unlock and free my heart--His perfect love.
I came to realize in my journey of breaking free from fear that paralyzed me in so many ways that what was lacking in my life was the deep assurance that God loved me unconditionally. When the Holy Spirit began to reveal this to me, the mountain of fear that seemed insurmountable suddenly began to become smaller in my mind. For the first time I had hope that I could forever be free from fear’s ruling power. This truth drew me into the heart of Father God instead of further. from Him. I was beginning to believe and understand that He was truly for me and not against me (Romans 8:31). Many hurts and losses that I had experienced in my life caused me to believe this lie.
One of the passages that God led me to was I John 4:16-18. “And we have known and believed the love God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love”.
God began using this passage (and others), His Holy Spirit, and other people to literally love me out of my fears. I began to open up my heart to my God who knows everything about me, yet loves me so deeply and unconditionally. I also realized that the apostle John, who wrote this passage, was the very one who leaned back on the chest of Jesus (John 13:25). He had an intimate relationship with Christ which is what, I believe, enabled him to write so much about the love of God (and how it frees us). He knew the deep, abiding love of God because he experienced so much of this love.
This is what God wants us to do--to draw so close to Him that we hear the message that has always been in His heart for us--that He knows and loves us deeply and perfectly. Knowing this will untangle our hearts from the lies we have believed, and therefore feared. One word, one breath, one look from Jesus can do this. So today, let’s draw near to Jesus--the only One who holds the key that can forever unlock our hearts and lives from fear.
*Check out Gabby’s website for info on her first book, book ordering, and/or to read her blog.
http://www.gabbyheusser.com/
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