I've often beaten myself up for my apparent lack of faith--in terms of being able to believe something prayed for or declared will happen instantly. That it will be one of those miracles one always dreams of experiencing. The kind other people always seem to be party to. After all, shouldn't we be able to ask for anything in Christ's name--and He says He'll do it (John 14:14)?
However, He doesn't say when. If the elders anoint someone who is sick, the Bible says he will recover (James 5:14). Still...it doesn't say when. Many times over in Scripture God promises to restore health. And of course, He is the Great Physician, our Healer, the one by whose stripes we are healed. One of the most compelling verses for instant healing is Mark 11:24: "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." But...when?
So...all of this leaves me with some questions to pose. Can a lack of faith be an obstacle to healing? Yes, I believe it can. Can God's perfect timing have an impact? Yes, I believe it can--He sees the big picture and knows how all things will affect us in our lives for the good. And many times, I believe that "good" is not just for us--but for others as well. Maybe the man who received his physical healing too early would not have developed compassion for those in similar circumstances nor recognized a calling God had on his life. Perhaps the broken woman who received emotional healing would have missed out on some even bigger emotional blessings--or even the ability to make some life-changing decisions--had she received it months or even years earlier. We just never know.
But God does. He knows. Everything. For every person. At every moment.
And that is what I've learned to trust. Yes, I want to see people healed instantaneously; and I want to have faith that expects that. Because I serve a really big God. But I don't want to get hung up on the faith thing. I think of a coat that is up on the highest hook of a coatrack--and its owner is trying to get it down. But it's impossible to do because it's simply "hung up" on that hook and doesn't show any hope of coming loose. Does the coat's owner simply give up and say "Oh, well. I guess I'll just leave it there"? No, of course not. He or she will get help, or get something to stand on so as to more easily unfix the coat from the hook. Or simply keep trying until success is reached. I don't want to be like the coat--held back, hindered. And neither do I want to be in the position of an owner who would walk away, giving up too easily. Both represent discouraged or diminished faith.
So what do I do? Ask God to grant me more faith? I certainly could--and have. But it's generally through hard things in which God comes through, provides, makes a crooked path straight (as He always does) that faith is matured. Certainly, it grows through the immediate answers too--the greater the number of immediate miracles, the greater one's faith for them. But is the faith for going through something--and coming out the other side still believing in the goodness of God--worth any less or any less valid than the faith that precedes a sudden healing?
I tend to believe that God honors all faith in Him. My faith has been proven--over and over again--through the "long haul" events. My parents' illnesses and subsequent deaths after several years of watching them deteriorate--their healing eventually coming on the other side; my son's fight-or-flight brain wiring that plagued not only him but us as a family for years, only to be seemingly rewired by an accident that could easily have taken his life; numerous financial struggles, even those resulting in the loss of a house--but through which our support system was strong and God continued to provide for us and walk us through, knowing we would come out stronger--and grateful for all that we did, and still do, have. More "process miracles" than I can count. And a trust in my God that is strong and unwavering. In my estimation--faith that is constant.
I know that if I want my faith for the everyday "BAM" miracles to grow, I have to practice exercising that kind of faith. But I do possess great faith. Make no mistake.
My right leg bears a tattoo that reads: "All things work together for GOOD for those who love God" (Romans 8:28). My favorite Scripture--and one that is written deeply on my heart because of all He's carried me through, because of the great faithfulness He has shown. I don't know if I will be one who moves regularly in healing ministry, but I do know that I will continue to trust Him--the one who is the Author and Finisher of my faith and the Sustainer of my life.
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