Aunt Elsie

If you are like me, you have one aunt or uncle you feel closest to--it's not that you don't love all the others--it's just that this person holds a certain key to your heart that no one else has. For me, it's always been my Aunt Elsie.

If you've been following my blog, you know that I've been choosing mugs that I feel reflect certain qualities of important people in my life. This mug displays a rose, which typically symbolizes beauty, love, and passion. I can think of no one who fits that description better than my Aunt Elsie.

Beauty - Aunt Elsie is lovely--beautiful skin, sparkling blue eyes, radiant smile--but there's an even deeper beauty that draws people to my aunt. It's "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit" (I Peter 3:4). Others can feel the love of Jesus when they are around Aunt Elsie, and they feel cared for.

Love - Aunt Elsie has a God-given capacity, a grace, if you will, to love people of all ages, backgrounds, and personalities. She is simply full of love. Growing up, I got to be a regular recipient of that love in a tangible way. But even when extended periods of time have gone by without seeing my aunt, I could still feel her love from afar and knew that she was praying for me.

Passion - Aunt Elsie is passionate about others experiencing the abundant life God has planned for them, to know Him intimately and experience His fullness. She looks for every opportunity to introduce others to the loving Jesus she knows so well and to declare to the hearts of the discouraged His great love for them. She is a prayer warrior and an encourager whose two-fold heart's desire is for the Lord to be exalted through her life and for her loved ones to know and serve Him.

In my estimation, my Aunt Elsie could not be more perfect if she tried. Not only is she a beautiful ambassador of the love of God--she is what I like to call a heritage facilitator. If you want to know something about the Miles family line, just ask Aunt Elsie. And if you're at a family reunion (which she has probably organized) and you're not sure who so-and-so is, she will know. She knows all the shirt-tail relations and then some. Her family tree--with all its respective branches and graftings--is very important to her. Her abounding love for family is a wonderful picture of the Father's love for His family. "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are" (I John 3:1a).

I honestly cannot say if I would be serving God today if not for the influence of my Aunt Elsie. During a crucial and awkward time of my life, Aunt Elsie took me to church, prayed with me regularly, spoke words of life into me, and loved me like her own. She believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself.


A poem I wrote in college in 1991 captures some highlights of why I love her so dearly:

Only One Aunt Elsie

      I was always welcome at your house, and you were always quick to tell people I was your niece.
      At your house I could have a piece of cake or a potato chip with your special pineapple dip whenever I wanted it.
     When I spent the night, you would play "Nola" on the piano for me and would sing "To God be the Glory," my first church solo. We would sleep in your big, fluffy bed and you would read me stories about God's pwoer and his love for us. Then we would pray. I always slept well.
     Sometimes you would let me draw pictures with your fluorescent chalks and let me play dress-up with your clothes and wig. One time you even let me borrow Grandma Millie's Centennial dress and bonnet for a school play.

     On Sundays, you took me to Sunday School and church. You always kissed me when you dropped me off at home and said, "I love you, Honey."

     I often wonder where poverty and exclusion from my peers would've found me if it weren't for your believing in me, and by your love, showing me how to believe in the one who made me.

Aunt Elsie can sing like an angel, play the piano with gusto, and create beautiful chalk drawings that draw you into them as if crossing a magical passage into a new land. But it's not her talents that have so endeared her to me. It's the confident knowledge that she will always love me, always find me worthwhile. You've heard the phrase, "You can't out-love God." Well, I don't think one could out-love my Aunt Elsie either.

My prayer for Aunt Elsie is that her prayers would be answered, that others would serve her well, and that she could experience more of the love of Jesus than she already knows. She continues to fight the good fight, to run the race, to keep the faith (2 Timothy 4:7), and great will be her reward one day. I, for one, can only hope to live up to her example and to honor the investment she's made in me by investing in others.

Aunt Elsie, you're sweeter than apple pie a la mode--in a puffy chair--on a rainy day. You light up my life in more ways than you know. I will always love you and consider you "the best."

Nancy

My mother-in-law, Nancy, has been a part of my life for just over 27 years (my husband  and I have been married for 26 but dated for a year and two months before we got married). She is kind, smart, witty, and likes to share special moments or events with her family.

I chose this particular mug to represent Nancy because she has a way with flowers—a green thumb—and a knack for landscaping. The colors on the mug are delicate, and I think Nancy is very delicate in some particular ways: she is highly compassionate; she is authentically sensitive and tender-hearted; she is graceful (particularly on the dance floor, but she also carries herself gracefully in general—and the “clutz” in me has always found beauty in that).

One of the first things I noted upon getting to know Nancy is that she and I are very different (my husband, Byron, is actually a lot like his mom, so he and I are very different as well). To name a few divergences: Nancy likes to sew (which I’ve never been good at or enjoyed), she likes dogs (I tolerate our cats and have never cared much for dogs), she likes to cook and is a regular Rachael Ray in the kitchen (I go in spurts, but it’s not one of my favorite things), she can dance (I was born with two left feet), and she is an excellent bowler (if the object were to get the ball in the gutter, I would be too!).

But, happily, we’ve also found our common ground. We both like the beach, we both appreciate good food, we both like chocolate (though Nancy moreso than me), we both like thrift store shopping, and we both love to play Scrabble. Nancy usually beats me in Scrabble (or its Facebook cousin, Lexulous), but I enjoy playing with her and we have lots of laughs in the course of a game.

Whether in designing clothes, painting, or decorating cakes (she even made our wedding cake!), Nancy is very artistic. She doesn’t sew now as much as she used to, but when the kids were younger she used to make special outfits for them. If I can get her to post the watercolor version she once did of a Van Gogh painting and a colored pencil drawing she did of a heron on a lake (the lake where she used to live, in fact), you will see what I mean about her artistic ability. She’s notably talented and should be drawing and painting on a regular basis.

Nancy is kind and thoughtful—always finding special jewelry that she thinks the girls might like, or things the kids are “into” at the time. Her kindness is not limited to family members though—she has spent a great deal of time crocheting hats for cancer patients and volunteering with the Florence Food Share. In the past, she worked with special education students through her local school district (Florence, Oregon). Nancy definitely has a heart for helping those in need. 

A big part of Nancy’s heart, though, is devoted to her family. She is proud of her three sons and loves to brag about her grandchildren. I was very happy to have Nancy around to help immediately following the births of each of our children. It gave us a chance to visit and also gave Grandma a chance to bond with each new grand-baby. Nancy looked for any and every opportunity to hold and dote on those little angelic bundles. As they got older, she enjoyed time with them in the pool, at the beach, or playing games. 

One of my fondest memories of Nancy and the grandkids is from when Kristiana was eight and Kalina four (I was pregnant with Josiah).  We went to the Lane County Fair. Nancy was patient as the girls wanted to stop and see just about everything there was to see, ride the rides, and…the grand finale, ice skating. Since I was expecting, I couldn’t go. Kristiana was a natural and took right off like she was born with ice skates on. Nancy had to help Kalina, who was clearly not a natural on the ice and kept practically pulling Grandma down with her. Another great memory is of a trip to West Coast Game Park Safari in Bandon. I think Nancy enjoyed holding the baby animals as much as the kids did! She is definitely a sweet-spirited person with a weakness for the cute and cuddly. ☺

Nancy has been very supportive of our (my husband’s and my) various job changes and pursuits over the years, always believing that we would excel in whatever arena we devoted our efforts to. Certainly, there’ve been some jobs in the mix that we either shouldn’t have taken or shouldn’t have stuck with as long as we did. But Nancy’s unconditional support and desire for the very best for us has been a steadfast encouragement.

Along with a soft heart comes a keen wit, which seems to be a family trait—Nancy’s parents can be credited with some hilarious one-liners and memorable catch-phrases. Nancy is also quick-witted and able to see humor in everyday events. One of her greatest delights is laughing when one of her sons (particularly Jonathan, who the family calls “Jamie”) is telling a story; she can’t contain herself, and it’s a true joy to behold.

It’s easy to see where our kids get a lot of their compassion and humor—and their intelligence has a great deal to do with Nancy too. A classic underachiever, Nancy is quite brainy. I admire her comprehension of political happenings, her ability to articulate her thoughts well, and her quick grasp of new concepts. I remember, in fact, the days when she knew hardly anything about computers. You would never know it now. She’s one of the most tech-savvy grandmas I know!

Nancy enjoys giving gifts and being with family during the holidays. In fact, to have the whole family together in one place for a special celebration means a great deal to her. She values each one of us and treasures our time together with her. If I had to identify a love language for Nancy, I’d say it’s probably “quality time.” Nancy doesn’t have to be doing an “activity;” she just likes having her loved ones around. 

I don’t know that I’ve ever told Nancy how much I appreciate her devotion to her family and her patience with us all, and how blessed I am to have been accepted into this family. I truly do appreciate all that she is and does for all of us. Nancy is a dear person with a lot of hidden depth, and I am proud to have her as a mom in my life. 

With much love, 

Teresa

Two Moms I've Claimed

Have you ever been “adopted” by someone else’s mom? Treated like you were part of the family and in such a way that you felt she was always delighted to see you? I have two moms like that in my life, and they belong to my friends, Rick and Amy Harris. Shirley Harris is Rick’s mother. Anita Zahniser is Amy’s mother. When I think of these two ladies, I can’t help but smile and feel a sense of warmth. Back in the 70s, we called them “warm fuzzies.”

When I think of comforting things I grew up with, I think of Holly Hobbie, footie pajamas, teddy bears, and Campbell’s soup. Today’s mugs represent Shirley and Anita because they make me feel warm all over, they bring out the sentimental and nostalgic in me, and they have that “take care of you” spirit about them. My mom is in Heaven now, but these are two ladies who I still get to hug, laugh with, and make memories with. I am so thankful they are in my life and for the unconditional love they’ve always shown me.

Shirley

Shirley is a sower—she sows into her loved ones’ lives with intention and compassion. I chose the “raking leaves” mug for her because not only does it represent hard work (for which she is exemplary)—it’s about working together. That’s really who Shirley is. She’s full of energy and ready to help her loved ones complete whatever task is at hand, whether it be a designer birthday cake (Shirley is quite the master), a garage sale, or setting up for a piano recital. I’ve witnessed Shirley in action on a number of occasions, and she always has a smile on her face and a song in her heart as she’s working. I don’t think she really considers it work. It’s how she loves people. She is tireless, devoted, and practical (another term for “if anyone can figure out a solution, it’s Shirley”)—a perfect combination for helping loved ones accomplish important things. And she makes you feel important.

I always feel a sense of anticipation when I know Shirley’s coming to visit because chances are I’ll get to see her, and seeing her means that I am seen—she wants to know how I am; she cares about who I am and the important things going on in my life. When my parents were ill, Shirley always took an interest, sending cards and emails to let me know she was praying and feeling for me. We’re not blood relations, but she’s a mom I am happy to claim as one of my special ones.

Like my own mom (with the same cool name), Shirley appreciates the simple things in life. She takes the time to notice what’s going on around her and, as a result, develops anecdotes and words of wisdom to pass on. I’d love to go visit her and her husband, Ray, in Idaho sometime so I can experience Shirley in her home environment—I think it would be a treat to be her guest. But I’m so thankful for the time she gets to spend here in Oregon. I’m always delighted to see her.

Anita

When I think of Anita, bubbliness comes to mind—even in the way she walks. She is adventurous and likes to have a good time—thus the “jumping off the diving board” mug. But I feel like “diving in” has also been a spiritual metaphor for her life as she’s traveled to Japan to work hands-on with CBSI (Community Bible Study International). She is spiritually minded, very insightful, and has a huge heart for the lost. Along with that, she possesses a special anointing for relating to people from other cultures. I admire her passion to share the Gospel, and it spurs me on. Her philosophy is “Lord, how can I be of service?”

Anita has always been supportive of me as a teacher, having been one for many years herself. She’s always been ready with a word of encouragement or a fresh idea for my classes. It was sometime after I took a short break from teaching though that I got to know Anita on a more personal level. Much of that connection was built as I did Bible study with her and three friends in her home. It enabled me to learn more about Anita and was an avenue God used to knit our hearts together.

Anita is loving. She’s a hugger too, and I love that about her. She always has a warm smile—and it’s a smile that you can see even in her eyes. I always feel so special and valued when she greets me. Having two daughters of her own already, she’s been kind enough to adopt me as a third. We all need a mom, and since mine’s “on sabbatical” in Heaven—until we can reconnect—it’s so nice to know I have someone who will treat me like “a kid.” And by that I mean that Anita is nurturing, inquisitive, and preferential in regard to me. Whether it’s taking me shopping to buy a new dress, inviting me to a family party, or just checking to see how I’m doing—Anita lights up my life in a way that is maternal, fun-loving, and simply makes me want to smile.  

What More Can I Say?

I treasure both these ladies and their influence on their families’ lives—of which I humbly consider myself a part—I just love to be around them, learn from them, and visit with them. Both Shirley and Anita can cook like nobody’s business, are resourceful, and well—uber-intelligent. Not only are they incredibly smart—they have wisdom in areas that I need wisdom in. I try to pay attention to what they have to say—about serving God, being frugal, and placing family as a top priority. They are leaving a legacy that is stunning, and I am blessed to be getting in on some of its richness.

I love you both. Thank you for filling in the “mom gaps” of my life—for taking the time to love me. You’ve each taken up permanent residence in my heart.

My Mom

The butterfly mug belonged to a very special person before me. She had a great love of butterflies and was a bit of a transformation story herself. That person was my mother, Shirley Louise Miles. Today marks six months since she went to be in Heaven with her Good Lord and my dad. I share today’s blog in honor of my mom and all that she meant to me.

To say my mom had a difficult childhood seems a bit of an understatement. The product of a dysfunctional home life, she was sent to live in foster homes and even a boarding house at a young age. Unfortunately, she suffered abuses in some of those places. But there was one family who loved everything about her and wanted to adopt her. That didn’t take place, but she always treasured her time with them and found in them a love for God that she had not seen. It may have been during that time that she accepted Jesus as her Savior. 

In spite of disappointments and instabilities, my mother was able to find great joy-- in music. From a very early age, she was a gifted singer, and by the time she was a teenager knew she wanted to be a performer. In high school, she was the song leader in assembly and was a member of the Glee Club. It was during those pivotal years that she also traveled for a time with the USO (United Services Organizations), entertaining troops. They were “The Stars of Tomorrow,” and my mother was the star of the show.

A beautiful woman with a captivating smile, she won the heart of a young man she went to high school with. When talk of marriage came up, my mom was given a choice—him or her would-be career. She chose him and spent more than ten years in an abusive relationship—for it was after they were married that his true colors began to show. He was an unfaithful husband with a violent temper—life was walking on eggshells, waiting for the next bomb to go off. 

Once single again, Shirley had some specific passions and desires. She’d never follow in her parents’ footsteps of alcoholism; she wanted a new life that included having children; and…she was afraid to ever get married again. 

In the interim, Mom moved to Brookings, Oregon with her mom. Her mother introduced her to a wonderful Christian lady named Elsie—who just happened to be my dad’s sister. Not long after meeting Merle Miles and finally conceding to let him court her, the two were married at the courthouse in Coquille, Oregon. My mom was 30, and my dad was 39. 

Three years later, I was born. My parents never had any more children, but my mom always made sure that I knew how "priceless" I was to her. She believed I was smart, entertaining, talented, and precious—and she showed it through the attention she showered on me, her encouragement of me in all my endeavors, and her uninhibited affection toward me. After growing up lacking in those areas, the natural inclination would have been to withhold approval and outward demonstrations of love—but not my mom. She was wise about the things of the heart, and she knew how to love a child—and for that child to know, undoubtedly, that she was loved. 

In spite of the heartaches in her life, my mom knew how to laugh—and laugh she did, with her entire being. I miss that laugh and the joy that it brought to my kids, my husband, and me. Mom always said it was important to find things to laugh about, and that she'd rather laugh than cry.

I learned  many things from my mom, but the most important might have been how to be a friend. She went out of her way to help people she cared about—she would listen to them as they shared their struggles, point out their best qualities, and offer assurance that she would continue to be there for them. And she always was-- putting everyone before herself, friends and family alike. She taught me that when you have a problem, you go to “the Good Lord.” She was confident in His love for her and wanted me to be too.

My mom loved her grandchildren dearly and showed great enthusiasm upon every visit. She would literally light up with joy. She adored each one but also saw them as individuals. She showed great interest in all their achievements, events, and plans. She believed in their potential for success in whatever they set out to do. And Grandma Shirley always looked each one in the eye, making an intentional connection as she expressed how much she loved them. It was important to her that they didn't just know it in their heads but that they could feel it in their hearts.

Shirley Miles never became a household name. My mom never got to see her name in lights or perform at the Grand Ole Opry. But she passed on a legacy—of music, of laughter, of love.

Mom, I miss you, but I know you’re filling Heaven with laughter and song. Until we meet again, I will do my best to make you proud and to be the kind of mom you were to me. I love you with all my heart. 

Butterfly

Painted wings fluttering like crepe paper on wind—

Flitting here, lighting there, til a new dance begins.

Mesmerized onlookers rhythms enrapture,

Eyes, trailing on as each movement they capture.

Perfection displayed in the beauty and grace

Of this wing-ed waltz, putting a smile on each face.

The oblivious butterfly goes on her way,

Not knowing that she has stopped traffic today.

© 2013, Teresa L. Kephart