My Story, Authored by God

God has a pen, and He’s writing my story.

It’s all for my good, and it’s all for His glory.

It started out seemingly small and benign,

But I’m learning I cannot discount God’s design.

My birth answered prayers that my parents had lifted,

And later they marveled at how I was gifted.

And not them alone—as more would agree

That God had a big plan for little ol’ me.

Some thought, she’s a singer (I always had sung);

Still others thought I would write books for the young;

And some thought I’d have a traveling vocation,

While others said, definitely education.

Fast-forward to Master’s Degree graduation—

I’d cemented teaching my chosen vocation.

But soon I’d be honored to walk in new shoes

As Mommy; my baby girl soon was my muse.

I wrote in my journals, recorded her babblings—

And rarely had time for more lucrative dabblings.

And such was my blessing—two more joined our clan,

And I said, I’ll do for them all that I can.

By trial I learned keys to a mother’s survival.

An only child, I’d had no siblings to rival—

So certain dynamics were foreign to me.

Still I wanted to be the best mom I could be.

It seemed but a blink, and my first was all grown,

Engaged, and then married—quite out on her own.

I had to take stock of how fast life was skidding

And whether or not I was doing God’s bidding.

Along the way, I’d become teacher and writer—

And through trials discovered I’m also a fighter.

My dad passed away in two thousand and ten,

And through that my identity’d changed once again.

Just what was my purpose?—my kids were maturing

Alarmingly fast—time’s race I was enduring;

I wasn’t prevailing, I wasn’t excelling…

I wasn’t sure even the tale was worth telling.

My mom was declining in health and emotion,

It seemed I must face an unbearable notion.

In 2013, Mom finished her race

And beheld her Savior at last, face to face.

With a no-more full nest and orphaned now too

I no longer was clear about what I should do.

I kept on in safety, while clinging in hope

To what was familiar, as if to a rope.

I knew there was purpose; I knew there was more—

But oh, to find courage to walk through that door!

Did I have the anointing? The vision to start?

Could I finally follow the call of my heart?

The passion grew stronger—and I tried to tame it.

But I knew that this treasure was mine if I’d claim it.   

But there’d be such change—and what risk it involved!

(The destiny problem’s not casually solved.)

But something had happened—a charge in my spirit;

And full in my ears, I could not help but hear it—

The call, the commission—God meant to renew it—

But who would I be once surrendering to it?

My path was laid out, though I tried to build fences—

My husband, my children, the monthly expenses.

And though it seemed risky—and scary, no less—

I took that small step that resounded in “yes!”

I’m writing and mothering and still instructing;

God births more new pages as I stop obstructing.

He’s freed me from much of the worry I had

And turned my face upward to make my heart glad.

I’ve demons to conquer, and battles to win;

There’ll be opposition—but still I’m “all in.”

For God has a pen, and He’s writing my story.

It’s all for my good—and what’s more—for His glory.