If You Love Me...Squeeze My Foot

Large feet and wide feet tend to run in our family—my dad always told me I had “a good under-standing.” In general, we like our feet to be massaged or to receive relaxing pedicures. I’m just going to tell you up front—our family has expressive feet. Some of us show it with fun socks, some with flashy shoes, some by popping our toes. At least one of us has feet that are often moving—usually happily bouncing—because something funny happened or just because of a good mood.

But there’s one sole member who uses feet to both convey and receive feelings of affection. To Kalina, proper acknowledgement of one’s feet is a way of communicating love—it is reassuring, accepting, and comforting. And just what is the proper acknowledgement? Well, Kalina loves to have one of her parents reach out and grab her outstretched foot. Always at the toes—and she must feel the “squish” so she can revel in the somewhat-obscure yet happiness-inducing feeling for at least a few seconds.

Rather than dismissing this process, I have chosen to both participate in and try to understand the significance of the foot-grabbing ritual. Grabbing my Kalina’s foot, I’ve learned, says many things: I notice you—right down to the tips of your toes; I’m willing to have fun with you; and it speaks a kind of comfort which could be interpreted as “I’ve got you” (i.e., I acknowledge and support you), “I care about you deeply and fully,” “There is nothing to worry about,” or “You are special to me” (and so I will show my love to you in this non-standard and personally meaningful way).

Although grabbing someone’s foot while he or she is sleeping is an obvious attempt at scaring the person, grabbing the foot of an awake individual could signify the opposite—making the person feel at ease and even protected. Interestingly, in India touching an elder’s feet is a sign of respect and is accompanied by the elder placing a hand on the younger person’s head and pronouncing a blessing upon him or her. The message conveyed in the touching of the feet is a significant one.

When I squeeze my daughter’s foot, it constitutes an exclusive type of hug—like a wink, it carries unspoken adoration and fondness; it’s like a secret club “foot-shake” that says “you belong; I accept all of you; only you get this kind of special kind of affection; I’m happy that you’re here—walking through this life with me; I’m proud to claim you as “mine” from head to toe.”

What is the significance of ‘feet’? Biblically speaking, feet can denote worship or reverence (as in Exodus, when God tells Moses to remove his sandals because he is on holy ground), servant-hood or being a disciple (Luke 10:39; Psalm 40:2), defeat of the enemy (Psalms and Joshua both talk about placing one’s foot on the enemy’s neck), or submission one to another/servitude (like when Jesus washed His disciples’ feet). The Bible also references feet when it talks about walking in faith, walking in love, and our steps being ordered of the Lord. Beautiful feet are said to be those that “bring good news” (Isaiah 52:7; Romans 10:15). Feet take us places—and where we go can be very monumental in our lives or the lives of others (think of the Prodigal Son or Moses leading the Israelites across the Red Sea). We need to pay attention to our “spiritual feet.”

In the natural, the feet support one’s whole body—and they’re very sensitive to physical stress. Each foot contains 26 bones; 33 joints; more than 100 tendons, muscles, and ligaments; and 250,000 sweat glands. Obviously, they were very carefully and conscientiously designed.

We like our feet to be comfortable, sufficiently warm, and have plenty of room. Representatively, the “parental foot squeeze” says “you can relax and feel safe here; this is a warm and friendly place;” and—“there will always be room for you in this family—to learn, to grow, and to simply have a toe-wiggling good time.”

I’m not sure exactly how the “foot squeeze” thing got started—but what I do know is that to my little girl, it’s every bit as important as having her favorite meal cooked, watching one of her “unwind” movies when her brain gets too stretched, or sleeping with her special pillow. Dr. Seuss devoted an entire children’s book to “feet,” which points out their diversity with “How many, many feet you meet.” We are each uniquely crafted and special. Don’t ever miss an opportunity to say “I love you for the wonder that is you,” even if you have to squish some toes to say it.

Sunday Secrets: Secretly

Most of the time when people say “secretly” it’s for one of these reasons:

A)     They’re expressing something they’ve always wanted but felt they would never get.

B)      What they’re sharing is highly confidential, and they feel they can trust you with it.

C)      It’s not really a “secret” but rather a desire they are, for whatever reason, proudly sharing.

Personally, I’ve secretly wanted a few things in my life. Here are a few of them:

I secretly wanted four children—sort of achieved that—one is in heaven, and three are here. But I always wanted to raise four. Perhaps it’s because my mom originally wanted four but had to settle for one, and I picked up that desire. Bringing up three was pretty busy and full, but I’ve often wondered what it would have been like with four around.

Though it wasn’t such a secret then, over the years I’ve spoken less and less of my early desire to become a professional singer. Singing is something I still very much enjoy, and I hope that I can be a part of a worship team again at some point—and maybe even do “special music” sometime. In the meantime, it’s time for another karaoke trip.

Though it’s not a “secret” per say, I do find that people are often surprised when they find out my dream car is a Hummer. Preferably black. This secret falls under category A—not sure I will ever actually get one, but it’s fun to dream of it.

Finally…I had a secret desire since my teenhood to marry a man who was around six inches taller than me. A bonafide “tall guy.” But alas, I fell in love with a man less than four inches taller than me. The height thing didn’t seem so important anymore.

So, there you go—my secret life—If I’d had four kids I would have quadrupled my parents’ offspring—but as it was, I felt incredibly accomplished as an only child raising three. I love to sing and would welcome more public singing opportunities. I’d be elated to own my own Hummer. And though I had previously wished for a taller husband, I’m happily keeping the one I’ve got.