Large feet and wide feet tend to run in our family—my dad always told me
I had “a good under-standing.” In
general, we like our feet to be massaged or to receive relaxing pedicures. I’m
just going to tell you up front—our family has expressive feet. Some of us show
it with fun socks, some with flashy shoes, some by popping our toes. At least
one of us has feet that are often moving—usually happily bouncing—because
something funny happened or just because of a good mood.
But there’s one sole member who
uses feet to both convey and receive feelings of affection. To Kalina, proper
acknowledgement of one’s feet is a way of communicating love—it is reassuring,
accepting, and comforting. And just what is
the proper acknowledgement? Well, Kalina loves to have one of her parents reach
out and grab her outstretched foot. Always at the toes—and she must feel the “squish” so she can revel
in the somewhat-obscure yet happiness-inducing feeling for at least a few
seconds.
Rather than dismissing this process, I have chosen to both participate in
and try to understand the significance of the foot-grabbing ritual. Grabbing my
Kalina’s foot, I’ve learned, says many things: I notice you—right down to the tips of your toes; I’m willing to have
fun with you; and it speaks a kind of comfort which could be interpreted as
“I’ve got you” (i.e., I acknowledge and
support you), “I care about you deeply and fully,” “There is nothing to
worry about,” or “You are special to me” (and
so I will show my love to you in this non-standard and personally meaningful
way).
Although grabbing someone’s foot while he or she is sleeping is an
obvious attempt at scaring the person, grabbing the foot of an awake individual could signify the
opposite—making the person feel at ease
and even protected. Interestingly, in India touching an elder’s feet is a sign
of respect and is accompanied by the elder placing a hand on the younger
person’s head and pronouncing a blessing upon him or her. The message conveyed in
the touching of the feet is a significant one.
When I squeeze my daughter’s foot, it constitutes an exclusive type of
hug—like a wink, it carries unspoken adoration and fondness; it’s like a secret
club “foot-shake” that says “you belong; I accept all of you; only you get
this kind of special kind of affection; I’m happy that you’re here—walking through
this life with me; I’m proud to claim you as “mine” from head to toe.”
What is the significance of ‘feet’? Biblically speaking, feet can denote
worship or reverence (as in Exodus, when God tells Moses to remove his sandals
because he is on holy ground), servant-hood or being a disciple (Luke 10:39;
Psalm 40:2), defeat of the enemy (Psalms and Joshua both talk about placing one’s
foot on the enemy’s neck), or submission one to another/servitude (like when
Jesus washed His disciples’ feet). The Bible also references feet when it talks
about walking in faith, walking in love, and our steps being ordered of the Lord.
Beautiful feet are said to be those that “bring good news” (Isaiah 52:7; Romans
10:15). Feet take us places—and where we go can be very monumental in our lives
or the lives of others (think of the Prodigal Son or Moses leading the
Israelites across the Red Sea). We need to pay attention to our “spiritual
feet.”
In the natural, the feet support one’s whole body—and they’re very
sensitive to physical stress. Each foot contains 26 bones; 33 joints; more than
100 tendons, muscles, and ligaments; and 250,000 sweat glands. Obviously, they
were very carefully and conscientiously designed.
We like our feet to be comfortable, sufficiently warm, and have plenty of
room. Representatively, the “parental foot squeeze” says “you can relax and
feel safe here; this is a warm and friendly place;” and—“there will always be
room for you in this family—to learn, to grow, and to simply have a
toe-wiggling good time.”
I’m not sure exactly how the “foot
squeeze” thing got started—but what I do know is that to my little girl, it’s every bit as important as having her favorite
meal cooked, watching one of her “unwind” movies when her brain gets too
stretched, or sleeping with her special pillow. Dr. Seuss devoted an entire
children’s book to “feet,” which points out their diversity with “How many,
many feet you meet.” We are each uniquely crafted and special. Don’t ever miss
an opportunity to say “I love you for the wonder that is you,” even if you have to squish some toes to say it.
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