Ask Teresa

QUESTION 1:

Dear Teresa:

What happened to all the dragons?

Signed,
Dragonheart

ANSWER:

Dear Dragonheart:

It is my opinion that something catastrophic occurred that resulted in stunting or preventing their reproduction.  They may have been trained to only fight, thus shortening their lifespan. At any rate, it is saddening that they are no longer here.

T.

QUESTION 2:

Dear Teresa:

How does one regulate themselves in the moment.?

Signed,
Dysregulated

ANSWER:

Dear Dysregulated:

It is difficult to regulate in the moment.

The steps I would suggest:
• Identify triggers: What situations, thoughts, or individuals tend to make you angry? I would recommend that you make a list or even a chart of these. You may need outside input in order to recall some of them.
• Watch for warning signs: What physical or emotional cues indicate that you're on the verge of becoming angry?
• Keep a regulation journal: Track your anger episodes, noting the triggers, your reactions, and the situations. 
• When a trigger presents itself, empower YOURSELF,  not the trigger. Breathe in deeply and consciously.
•  Have a grounding scene for your brain, something that pulls you in and away from the emotions so you can properly distance yourself from them.

Most importantly, recognize that this is a process and that you can only improve as you are persistent to keep working the strategies.

T.

QUESTION 3:

Dear Teresa:

Is it okay to just run away?

Signed,
Ready to Run

ANSWER:

Dear Ready to Run:

Sometimes it IS okay to run away. It depends on what you are running away from--and the definition of "running" is also important.

Running away from life's pressures and responsibilities for a brief period, just to refocus, re-energize, or reset can be a healthy thing. But if running away amounts to avoidance of responsibilities that need to be carried out, that can be a bad road to go down.

This all begs the question, 'What DOES need to be carried out?' And along with that, 'Are you the only person who can do it?' If you are, make sure you get the support you need, which should include periods of respite.

Yes, sometimes it all can feel like too much--and every cell in your body is telling you to run. In those moments,  I think it's important to ask one's self, 'What am I wanting to run away from?' See if you can narrow it down--and identify the things you can control.

There will be SOMETHING,  however small. Maybe it's the temperature of the room or your tone of voice or what kind of cheese is purchased. Whatever it is, find it. And each time you find one such thing, take a deep breath because you are doing things. You are making life work. You are moving forward.

T.

QUESTIONS 4/5:

Dear Teresa:

Why did the dinosaurs die? And furthermore...why am I so fat?

Signed,
Tired & Saur

ANSWER:

Dear Tired & Saur:

I don't have a definitive answer as to the fate of our dearly departed dinosaurs, but I do think they were commonplace at one time, possibly at the same time as humans, if you ascribe to biblical references. 

My theory is that they were designed for a world that looked a certain way, during a specific age. I posit that they didn't possess the same adaptations as other members of the animal kingdom in order to survive. In many ways hearty, they may have had some deficits. It is impossible to know what those may have been.

As for your other question, I can only speculate. It could be age (changes in metabolism and the like), eating habits, lack of exercise, or a combination of any of those. 

Excess weight is frustrating, to say the least. A little activity is better than none. Making healthy food choices can be hard--especially for any of us who grew up with poor eating habits. These habits become a way of life that is hard to break out of. Age can't be helped, so the best we can do is take one day at a time and see how many good choices we can make.

T.