Second Chances

Second chances are important. I have given and been given second chances in my life. If you have done something that might result in a “second chance” for you, it’s important to note that depending on the nature of the offense, the second time around may look different than the first. Even though forgiveness is extended, wounds may be left and levels of trust affected. These things are impossible to ignore. Certainly, the message of Jesus is all about second chances. He is able to redeem the worst possible circumstances and relationships. But full restoration takes time. 

Let’s be real. The cost of a second chance differs with the nature of the relationship, intimacy level of the relationship, and the given yet unspoken expectations one has of another person (this becomes more complex with age and maturity). For example, when a preschooler doesn’t share a puzzle, the teacher may talk to him or her about kindness, sharing, and the like and offer that child a “second chance” to play with the puzzle. But it is not likely that the teacher will say “you may never play with a puzzle again.” Furthermore, the teacher will not kick that student out of his or her class. A teacher-preschooler relationship involves training and patience—lots of room for error and growth. Preschoolers aren’t able to think about cause and effect in the same way an adult is. They have a lot of years ahead of them—and as those years increase, so does their responsibility in their relationships.

From a receiving standpoint, we have to think first about the results of our choices, because even if grace is extended in the form of a “second chance,” we may lose something that cannot be regained. That’s the truth about second chances. But I do believe they’re worth giving. And it’s a blessed relief to receive a second chance when you know you’ve blown it and wish you could go back and fix it. Second chances may come with caution, but they should never come with strings attached—sometimes they just take time and patience.

The worst thing is to not give a second chance when you could have--or maybe you failed to give a first chance. That's something you can't redo. In all these matters remember: "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart" (I Samuel 16:7b, ESV).