The Parenting Degree

Parenting is like college. You really have no clue what it’s like until you get there. It requires long-term commitment. There are “courses” you wish you didn’t have to take, but they’re required. And it’s expensive.

Parenting University is a school like no other. It’s easy to get into but much harder to thrive in. It’s not very prestigious throughout the course of study, but once the studies are completed—if you’ve applied yourself well, you will receive honor.

P.U. offers the hardest tests known to man…because they are on material that hasn’t been covered yet! And even if it has, there will be trick questions. The tests are different each time.

I speak in metaphors, but the reality is…parenting is hard work. Some are ill-prepared, overwhelmed, or they didn’t want to be there to begin with. Thus, there are Parenting University drop-outs—or those who “switch majors.” Fortunately, P.U. does accept transfer credit (preliminary children provide at least some insight into the new “technologies” and bodies of knowledge one will have to become familiar with).

The “campus” for Parenting is the biggest you’ve ever seen—it basically encompasses….everywhere—the grocery store, preschool, daycare, church, the park, the pharmacy, the pet shop…anywhere you and your child have occasion to go is part of the learning environment. The cafeteria is generally open twenty-four hours. Bedtime at the “dorms” can be a bit riotous at times, but it’s a comfortable environment—surrounded by all one’s familiar belongings…and messes. And like other schools of learning, there is usually competition for shower times.

But I haven’t said much about the professors…at Parent University, you would be mistaken if you assumed that the oldest individuals on campus were the instructors. Parents are taught by those much smaller and younger. The funny part is—they don’t even know they’re doing any teaching. That’s right—the children are the professors. They provide plenty of learning opportunities—only the students (the eager-to-learn parents) have to decide how to approach each situation; it’s very hands-on—and problem-solving based. But fortunately, the Holy Spirit is our major professor.

The required courses include: Patience 101; Knowing Your Child; Ministering to a Child’s Heart; Intro to Manipulation; History of the Excuse; Clean-your-room-ology; Representing Jesus; Imparting God’s Word; How to Enjoy Putting Together Puzzles, Playing with Barbies, and Building with Legos; Puberty 101; Dealing With Picky Eaters; Preconceptions Dismissed; and Exploration of the Classics: Play Dates, Parties, and Sleepovers.

And what about grades? Well, they can’t really be measured comparatively because no two children are exactly alike, so what applies to one won’t always apply to another. These “professors” also tend to be a bit self-centered—but if their basic needs are met and they can tell they are loved, the “students” get high marks. So in this particular university, learning to love well really is the key lesson. Sometimes there may be a need for toughness or stand-your-ground-edness, but if love governs the actions of the parent, he or she is likely to graduate with honors.

Instead of a fancy degree, this university offers a guarantee regarding performance, which is based largely on prayer—for wisdom, patience, and unconditional love. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, KJV). However…it’s conditional—in spite of all the hours, trials, victories, and heartfelt efforts—one’s treasured offspring (whom God calls a parent’s “great reward”) has choice and can choose his or her own way. It is in this way that the principle of more being “caught than taught” comes to bear. What we model—what we literally live out before our kids will often be that which either sets them on or helps to redirect their course in life. And the other promise we have, that should bring comfort to any mom or dad, is that God—in His infinite love—will never stop pursuing our kids. Truly, He is relentless (“Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life” - Psalm 23:6a, The Message).

Pray for your children. Pray without ceasing. That they will each “"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' (Luke 10:27). Declare it as His will and purpose over them. As parents, we are alumni of a university that offers lifelong learning. We graduate from the daily duties after a “term,” if you will, but no matter how far away they might be, our children are always on our hearts and minds—and we possess opportunities for new facets of relationship and perspective.

Yes, parenting is a lot like college. There are old ways and new ways of doing things in operation. Both require campus security (but the angels wear better uniforms). Both may, at times, require caffeine. But there’s one key difference I see—college is meant to impact the mind—its focus is on knowledge. Parenting takes into account the whole person—this unique individual God created and has entrusted to me. A more joyous and sobering education never existed—nor a degree more worth earning.