What About Cats?

A cat is like a person, with grandiose demands

Who tends to make a fuss when things don’t go as planned.

A cat is territorial and likes to run the show.

He’ll hiss in warning protest at felines he doesn’t know.

Cats are natural roamers; they like to go where they choose,

And they’ll flop down on the darnedest things like backpacks, bags, or shoes.

Cats can be affectionate—they’ll curl up in your lap

And proceed to go to sleep, ‘cause all cats like to nap.

A cat is a slob in some ways, just shedding and lazing around—

And don’t forget coughing up hairballs—oh, what a hideous sound.

Still, cats can be great mousers, and catch spiders in a jiffy.

But they won’t perform on command—so pest control can be iffy.

A cat likes to eat—does it ever—and contrary to popular claim,

It doesn’t self-regulate intake—it will eat till its size brings you shame.

A cat has primarily two settings, namely “Love me!” or “Leave me alone.”

She’s not a trained pet or best friend-like and doesn’t go nuts for a bone.

A cat is a crazy conundrum—self-centered yet full of concern.

When you’re sick, a cat might stay close by you until your health takes a good turn.

They can sense how you’re feeling, and sometimes, they appear to even mimic.

At times you may swear they know English and that keeping it secret’s their gimmick.

Some cats like to be cuddled, some hate it—and they’ll sure let you know right away.

Some get happy—some glare at your “foolishness”—whenever you try to play.

Taking a cat for a walk may seem wise, but just trust me—forsake it.

To a feline, a leash feels like torture; it’ll meow like you’ve just shaved it naked.

A cat is magnetic but moody—there’s something that draws us in.

Perhaps their hypnotic tail-swaying or the way that they nuzzle our chin.

It’s a mystery just why we adore them—could it be those “Puss in Boots” eyes—

Or maybe their confident assumption that the arm of the chair’s just their size?

If you think that a cat sounds endearing, you first must know—one thing is true—

You don’t own a cat—it’s too clever; the truth is… the feline owns you.