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| Kalina at her 8th grade graduation with friend Danielle |
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| Kristiana at her 8th grade graduation with friend Alauna |
Lately I have given a lot of
thought to eighth grade graduations—perhaps because my son is over halfway
through his seventh grade year, so it seems that his eighth grade graduation isn’t very far off. But the other part
of my pondering is a more general opinion I’d like to share.
I’ve heard it argued, (in part from
those who’ve lived or worked in gang-ridden environments), that if you reward
kids with a graduation after eighth grade, what’s
to motivate them to go on in school? Well, in my mind, if the absence of a
graduation ceremony is the only thing that motivates a student to move forward
in his or her education, there’s a serious problem! If that’s the argument,
we’d be seeing a bunch of kindergarten drop-outs, wouldn’t we (tongue-in-cheek
there)? And high school graduates surely wouldn’t need to go on to college once
they’d received their diplomas and walked to “Pomp and Circumstance.” Isn’t
that pretty much the icing on the cake? Okay, now I’m being a bit sarcastic—but
my point is…the argument is flawed.
I support the idea of eighth grade graduations for several reasons:
1)
Instead of
a way of rewarding students for a job not yet complete (high school
graduation), I see it as a reward for completing a pretty monumental decade of
life (yes, for those who attend preschool and kindergarten, it’s a decade of school). We celebrate other
less-tenured achievements—why not this one? These ten years represent huge developmental changes and social
challenges, not to mention increasing academic expectations. In my kids’ school
experience, academic training—critical thinking skills as well as the basics of
counting and coloring—began in preschool. In kindergarten, they learned to
read. In first grade, they wrote books and/or book reports! And it went uphill
from there. No, not everyone’s school experience is the same—but whatever
negatives there may have been (switching schools, poor attendance, good or bad
teaching, getting picked on, family crises that affected school performance,
etc.), ten years is worth some kudos. But
what of the kids who made bad choices? Well, no one makes all bad choices in life. There was
probably something somewhere along the way that was worth celebrating…sure, if they’re
pulling failing grades across the board, well then they probably shouldn’t be a
part of the celebration that year. But that doesn’t mean eighth grade
graduations are a bad idea. The
reality is that some kids are going to join gangs, drop out, get pregnant or
get someone pregnant—and those choices can either be their descent into life in
the dungeon or a springboard to making better
choices in the future and not allowing their pasts to dictate their futures.
There are always going to be both. But that shouldn’t determine whether the
reward is offered for those who’ve earned it.
2) It’s an
encouragement. To me, eighth grade graduation says “look how far you’ve come;
and it’s only the beginning.” In my way of thinking, it is motivating. It’s
like that drink of water after a long stretch in a marathon or that piece of
chocolate cake when you’ve made it halfway to your final weight loss goal. It’s
like a much-earned pat on the back that says “I’ve noticed, and I’m proud of
you.” At least, that’s the message I have always wanted to send to my kids. I
mean, we celebrate birthdays based on no other achievement but existence! Elementary school can be hard
enough, but middle school—well, that can be brutal—let’s give some credit where
credit is due. Sometimes in a race, the encouragement of those cheering one on can
come at just the right moment. Eighth grade is the right moment.
My
school didn’t have eighth grade graduations, but I can assure you that it would
have been a boost to my already diminished self-esteem if it had—I might have
seen that I’d actually done something worthwhile, even praiseworthy. There’s
something wrong in our thinking if we make a bigger deal out of a kid losing a
tooth than a kid finishing eighth grade. If we can share so enthusiastically in
nature’s achievement (losing a tooth), how much more should we be inclined to
cheer on those who’ve reached such a pivotal crossroads?
3)
Eighth
grade graduation represents an “ushering in” or “crossing over.” For those who
do, it is a waving-goodbye to more childlike pastimes and ways of thinking and
beginning to embrace more grown-up responsibilities and pursuits. Students
enter high school as middle-schoolers and leave it as, for all practical
purposes, adults. At least, beginning ones. It’s a transition from growing up in the physical maturation
sense to growing up in the
character-testing, future-thinking sense. It’s a time in which parents become
more like guides and tend to fade more into the background as their kids take
the reins of life more purposefully. It’s the end of one phase of life and the
beginning of a far different one. Why must we split hairs over what constitutes
a worthy accomplishment? Both (finishing eighth and finishing twelfth)
represent grand adventures; we have an opportunity to celebrate with our youth
the crossing of the threshold from one to the next.
I guess my overall point is why does it have to be a choice between
eighth grade graduation and high school graduation? I see validity in both,
and both celebrate very different but nonetheless admirable achievements, thus
making the graduations themselves
very different in nature. I believe that saying eighth grade graduation is
unnecessary or that it somehow “jumps the gun” on high school graduation
reflects a short-sighted view of child development, nurturance, and may even indicate an emotional lack in one’s
own upbringing regarding recognition of achievements (though certainly that’s
not true in every case).
I look forward to my final eighth
grade graduation ceremony as a parent, in June of 2015. I plan to let my son
know—in some (hopefully) significant way how special he is and how proud I am
of all he has accomplished thus far.
I see it as one of many not-to-be-overlooked milestones, the reaching of which
will make lasting memories. I intend to do my part in making sure they’re good
ones.
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