Underwear

1. 
   

   

   
   
   From a fig leaf to a loin cloth,
   To a woolen Greek chiton
   While in Rome some men wore “shorts”
   When they had a toga on,
   Which around the 13th century
   Were replaced by baggy drawers
   That field workers wore for modesty
   And coolness out of doors
   Then in Europe came cod pieces,
   Stockings, corsets, undershirts
   While Victorian undergarments
   Functioned very much like skirts
   With the cotton gin invention,
   Lightweight fabrics took the stage
   And the union suit was born,
   Made by Hanes—and all the rage
   Then in the 1930s
   ‘Boxers or briefs?’ became the query
   And the new word underpants
   Was entered in the dictionary
   World War Two American soldiers
   Got ‘long johns’ upon assignment,
   Followed by tricots and stretch briefs,
   A new-improved refinement
   Soon color and pattern and fabric
   Made underwear artistic sport,
   And the comfort of Lycra and Spandex
   Would offer close-fitting support
   Bikinis, thongs, and G-strings
   Took the mystery factor out
   And gave us cause to question,
   ‘What is underwear about?’
   You see, though we cannot see it
   History’s always in the makin’
   With new products being born
   And new opportunities taken
   And though such undertakings
   Often catch us unaware,
   These words take on new meaning—
   Truly: “Change your underwear.”