Moms' Monday: Don't Give Up

Welcome to my new Monday theme--Moms' Monday--a heartfelt segment about bringing up kids. I'm certainly no expert, but I am endeavoring to listen to what God is saying and allow His strength to be made perfect in my weakness. Today it's been on my heart that as parents we are adamant about believing in our kids--and believing God has a unique plan for each of them. He's been saying "Don't give up." And I'm sure He's saying it to more than just me.

Perhaps your child doesn’t "get” certain things—he or she struggles with certain concepts; maybe even his or her teacher has approached you with concern about these areas. Perhaps your son or daughter is stubborn—possibly even rebellious, and you are constantly butting heads—and you’re convinced that the years ahead could be filled with heartache and trouble. Maybe you’ve experience d more than your fair share of parenting crises and have said to yourself on more than one occasion, “I just don’t have what it takes to parent this child.” 

What about those times you’ve helped him or her study for a test at school—thinking he or she was prepared—and the grade has been disappointing? Think of all the times you’ve been excited about a new parenting approach, only to have it fail miserably, seemingly making the situation worse. And those times that you’ve wondered just what planet your offspring really derived from, because their logic or way of seeing the world seems unalterably askew—to the point of parental meltdown because you just can’t seem to get through.

Bet you’re waiting for me to tell you there is hope. Well, thank the Lord—there is! But part of it lies in a committed mindset—one of tenacity, endurance, unconditional love, and prayer. It can be summarized in three simple words: Don’t give up. When your child is struggling and you don’t know what to do, don’t give up. When you think you’ve exhausted every parenting resource there is and trials seem to mount with each turn, don’t give up. When you cannot speak because you’re so angry that your child will not see reason, don’t give up.

Sometimes not giving up means stepping back and allowing God to give you a fresh perspective. At other times, it may mean facing a situation head-on and “sticking to your guns”—not backing down because the lesson involved is too valuable to sacrifice. Sometimes it means being an advocate for your child. Your developing youngster doesn’t understand everything that is going on inside his or her mind and heart. It is our job to help them discern it and to work with those who are imparting new things into their lives—such as teachers. Communication on behalf of your child is priceless.

When an influential adult makes a wrong assumption about your kid’s motives or character, it is your responsibility to address that and try to bring understanding to the situation. Does this mean you fight all your kids’ battles for them? Of course not. Does it mean you always rescue them? No. But it does mean that you are compassionate, positive, aware of how he or she is doing at school (socially and academically)—and that you address the spiritual with your child (if not face to face, through prayer!), using God’s Word as a lifeline. And never cease to pray! God will carry you through. "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer" (Romans 12:12).

When we are dealing with our children, we’re talking about making an eternal investment. We are to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4b).  One cannot take place effectively in the absence of the other—we must admonish them yes (spur them on, correct, and discipline), but we must also nurture  (support, encourage, nourish) them – because God has a plan for each of our children’s lives. He does not give up on them, or on us—and so we must not give up.

Galatians 6:9 instructs, “ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Sometimes “doing good” may not feel good. Sometimes what is best may be incredibly hard, but where our kids are concerned, it is worth it for the harvest God wants to bring in their lives. He will use what we’ve sown for good, and He will bring about a glorious testimony in the end—if we don’t give up.

Remember, the calling of a parent is to the glory of “him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20). We are never on our own, and we cannot see the whole picture of the work He is completing within our children. Our role is to trust in Him as we believe in our kids, believe for their future, and do not give up.