Wednesday Wisdom: Train Up a Child

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

I used to think this verse was a bit scary—that it was saying if I didn’t raise my children right, I could be responsible for them falling away from God—while there is truth to that, I believe it is actually more of a commission from God to be the kind of parents He wants us to be. It wasn’t until the pastor who dedicated my first child emphasized the pronoun that I realized it was more about the child (in this case, her) than it was about me. Pastor Michael admonished us to “raise up Kristiana in the way she should go,” reminding us that she was unique and that we would need to discover who God had made her to be in order to raise her according to His plans.

The word for “child” in this verse is the Hebrew word na’ar , which defines a “child” as a boy or girl from infancy through adolescence. Thus, training begins at the very beginning of the child’s life journey. The same word is used in II Timothy 3:15, when Paul encourages Timothy: “…and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” Proper training of children is a long process involving heavy reliance on the Word of God and resulting in wisdom and faith in Christ.

The words translated as “train up” come from a Hebrew word that literally means “to narrow”. There are certain safeguards we must, as parents, provide—for we know that “wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14). We must give solid guidance and provide reasonable limits in order to keep our children on the path of life, following Jesus wholeheartedly. In order to do this, we must be parents of prayer.

In the way he should go. In Hebrew, that phrase is “according to the mouth of his way.” The Hebrew word emphasizes the child’s way. There is a way that works best for each person God has made—the way they learn, the way they process, the way even in which they express their love for the Lord. In this verse, parents are being challenged to disciple each child according to his or her God-given abilities, personality, and proclivities. God recognizes that children are unique and must be guided uniquely.

We see this truth played out in Scripture—God didn’t say the same things to His individual children. Instead, seeing how He had made them and taking into account their weaknesses and strengths—He individualized His counsel and emphasized truths according to what needed to be heard. To Gideon, His message was ““The LORD is with you, O mighty man of valor (Judges 6, ESV).” This wasn’t at all what Gideon thought or what he expected, but God was calling him forth into his true destiny. He told Peter he was a rock and that “upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it” (Matthew 16:18, NLT). To Abraham, He said, “You will be the father of many nations” (Genesis 17:4, NIV). None of these men beforehand saw themselves or their futures as such—God saw what was in them and declared it, steering them into and then leading them on the paths He had established. This is what we too must do as parents if we want God’s very best for the children He’s entrusted to us.

…and he will not depart (put aside, leave, turn away from) from it (the teachings/the way). If we raise our children according to God’s will and purposes—relying on His abundant wisdom, of course—the truths, practices, and strategies we have taught them will stick with them and help them on their “way.” That which we sow into them will be engrained, not just in their minds, but in their spirits.

No two children are alike. No two ways are alike. But there is a way for your child. The Lord will be faithful to direct their steps, but our parental mantle bids us to lay the foundation—impressing His words upon them, talking about them “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:7, NIV). We have the honor and responsibility of preparing them, by the power of the Holy Spirit, for the way they should go.