Friendship is not
a casual thing. It's much, much more purposeful than that. Otherwise it kind of
wilts, like that plant you always forget to water. True friendship is proven
through sacrifice and willingness--being there because you deeply love that
person--knowing that you may not have all the answers but that your friend
needs you--and so you go.
Don't be afraid to
ask your friends for help, but do so with consideration for their time,
resources, and season of life. There is a time to ask and a time to remain
silent. But if a friend can be honest
with you, that can solve a lot of those inner questions about “should I call
so-and-so?” Honesty is so important in friendship.
Friendship is
about letting your friend borrow your car, helping with garage sales, making
time in an already busy schedule to “connect” with one another, splitting the
cost of that Costco package of lettuce, looking over that important letter and
offering forthright feedback, sitting with your friend at a care center while
she waits for her daddy to go home and be with Jesus, praying for one another.
True friends know
"how you work." They know what irritates you, what lights you up,
what bores you, and what your favorite candy is...and if they don't, they find
out. :) Real friends both forgive and are willing to re-evaluate and change the
way they do things at times out of understanding for a friend.
The Lord provided
great examples of committed friendship for us in Scripture—David and Jonathan,
Naomi and Ruth, Jesus and His disciples.
The Bible says in
Proverbs 18:24, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there
is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Jesus is our ultimate example of
one whose closeness never wavered, even when His friends thought He was absent. “Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a
cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we
drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!”
Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, “Why
are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”” He was not going to leave them
or forsake them; He hadn’t forgotten about them. Likewise, we need to be the
type of friends that—even though we may be tired (as Jesus certainly was, after
teaching all day)—are willing to go the extra mile because our friend is in
need.
“A friend loves at
all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). If
we only are a “friend” when it’s convenient, that’s not true friendship at all.
Friendship often cannot be defined in simple terms. Yet this verse simplifies
it—it’s simply “at all times.” No matter what the circumstance, the remark
(that didn’t set well), the habits, or the weaknesses—friendship is steadfast
and true, and unconditionally committed.
In short, “A
friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and
accepts you just the way you are.” - Author
Unknown. Just as Jesus could look into His disciples and call forth a
destiny they couldn’t yet grasp, a friend sees the real you—believes in you. And
with that believe comes a willingness to invest one’s time, energy, and heart.
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