I believe
God has a special grace for parents
that He wants to empower us with, and it begins from a place of love. But to
understand this provision, we must first define what “grace” is.
Grace as God’s Unmerited Favor
Most
Christian circles seem to teach “grace” according to this definition, from Mary
Fairchild, Christian author and editor: “Grace is God's unmerited favor. It is
kindness from God we don't deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor can ever
do to earn this favor. It is a gift from God. Grace is divine assistance given
to humans for their regeneration (rebirth)
or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; a state of sanctification enjoyed
through divine favor.”
Grace as Loving-kindness
To use
another author’s words (Ryan Hobbs, author of Practical Grace for Parents):
“I believe the key to
understanding grace lies in using an alternative definition. Grace does mean
unmerited favor, but grace also means loving-kindness. Think about this
for a moment. No one truly deserves love and kindness. In other words, they are
unmerited, which is precisely what the traditional definition of grace is
saying. However, when you think about grace as loving-kindness, you begin to
see a much wider range of applications, which is precisely what God intended
all along.”
Others say
that grace means “the power of God,” explaining that “GRACE is God’s power that
is imparted by the Holy Spirit, citing verses such as Ephesians 2:8, “For it is
by grace you have been saved, through faith…,” and Romans 1:16, “For I am not
ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to
every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.”
I believe Grace encompasses all of these definitions, and most
certainly more—we can’t begin to fully
understand or fathom all the intricacies, depths, and facets of the grace of
God. It embraces favor, kindness, and power—and it’s all because of God’s great
love for us – “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we
should be called children of God! …” (I John 3:1b). He loves us--so He saved us, He showers His loving-kindness on us, He
moves in power in our lives, and He extends to us His favor.
What parent doesn’t need to
understand redemption and restoration; how disciple with loving-kindness; how
to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit and the confidence of God’s
sovereignty; or how to act on the desire to bless one’s children and “blaze
trails” in order for them to experience abundant life?
God’s grace is complex, just as
the need for it in parenting is complex. When we break it down, it’s a product
of who God is—which may seem to simplify it, but when we see that it is rooted
in a love beyond measure or comprehension, there is no way we can really put
parameters on it.
God’s grace
exemplifies the heart of a parent—He wants the very best for His children, and so He supplies grace for all our needs. It
is a “special grace” because God is the one who tailors it to our needs, and it’s
a “special grace” because our kids are
special. And when we have those difficult moments where as a parent we honestly
don’t know what to do, He reminds us
as he did Paul in 2 Corinthians 12, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness.”
Sometimes we just
need a practical idea that, combined with His grace, can be life-changing for
our children. Perhaps one of these insights from Janel Breitenstein in her Momlife
Today article, “8 Practical Ways to Parent With Grace,” is just what God can
use to meet a need in your parenting today:
- You can make a mess within reason, and you have the power to clean it up. I’ll teach you how, and help when you need it.
- Neither of us is perfect just yet. We need a Savior. I realize God’s doing a great work in you, and His timeline is perfect. I’ll walk with you while you grow, and thank God with you for every little way He changes you to be like Him.
- You can be different from the rest of our family. God’s Word and His Spirit are your boundaries. Let’s dig in and discuss it together.
- You can explore and work out God’s image in you. What does it look like to “work out your salvation” (Philippians 2), to “run the race set before” you (Hebrews 12:1)? How did He make you? How is He writing your story? How has He blessed you, so you can be a blessing?
- I am so thankful for you doing (good deed). To be honest, sometimes I do things like that because I want (people to think highly of me, to control people, to get what I want, etc.)! May I ask you to think about why you’re doing this? I just know that the state of your heart matters to God.
- I trust that God is writing your story, and He’s writing mine. Rather than worrying, we can run to Him together. We can operate out of our satisfaction in Him, out of our trust in Him, rather than feeding our appetites for approval, power, significance, comfort, and security.
- That’s a great question. But rather than tell you the answer, let’s see if we can figure it out together.
- I need to apologize to you for the way I ___. I realize now that my heart was ___. Will you please forgive me?
He knows our needs, He knows our struggles, He knows our kids!
Allow His grace, in all its wonder and complexity, to empower your parenting
today.
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