Friday "Fruit of the Spirit": Ask for Wisdom

This is a “Fruit of the Spirit” post, so some of you may wonder why I picked Wisdom. It’s not one of the standard nine mentioned in Galatians 5. I picked it because it is on my heart right now as a mom—and I believe it qualifies as a fruit of the Spirit because apart from God, we don’t have spiritual wisdom. “For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. “ (I Corinthians 1:25)  It’s pretty clear that in and of ourselves, we won’t generate lasting wisdom. We need the Spirit of the Lord for that. And what greater arena do we need wisdom in than that of being a parent?

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5)  The New Living Translation further clarifies “without finding fault” as “He will not rebuke you for asking.” God wants to help us, and particularly in the area of wisdom.

Yesterday, I wrote about helping your children manage stress. In order to do that, and in order to make good calls in parenting in any significant area, you need wisdom. And the starting place for that wisdom is the fear of the Lord. “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”  (Proverbs 9:10)  To gain wisdom, we need to have a sense of reverence and honor for the Lord, a perspective that we owe our very lives and everything in them to Him—for in fact, we do. I see “the fear of the Lord” as a place of humility that says ‘Lord, I need you—every day and in every area.” Acknowledging our constant need of Him keeps us from acting rashly and relying on our own understanding.

The second part of Proverbs 9, verse 10 talks about understanding. It is something we get through “knowledge of the Holy One.” Not knowledge about, knowledge of. We need to know Him. When we know Him, we will understand more and more of His heart. And we can apply that understanding as parents.

We can know God personally through our time spent with Him. He speaks to the heart and offers creative ideas as we face parenting challenges. His perspective is not only fresh—it is also omnipotent. He sees the big picture, and sometimes we forget that. Why wouldn’t we then ask Him for His wisdom?

Proverbs 19:8 says, “The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.” When we ask God for wisdom, we are valuing the life He has given us—we are demonstrating our desire that it be abundant. When we esteem God’s perspective in our actions, He is going to honor that by prospering us. He really loves to do that!

Our Father prefers that we ask for His help. He is all-wise; we are not. We desperately need Him to give us insight as we raise those He’s entrusted to us. I remember times I’ve encountered a parenting situation that resulted in a blank stare on my face and frustration in my heart. I recall going to a separate room and praying, “Lord, help me—I don’t know what to do. I need your wisdom.” He would lay His peace like a blanket over me and speak to my heart—giving me a fresh perspective and a direction to take.

Psalm 16:11 seems a perfect companion to Proverbs 19:8, as it reads, “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” In those times when life feels less than abundant and you are frustrated with your own lack of effectiveness as a parent, go to the perfect parent—He will show you the path. And the ultimate result of following His path is joy in being with Him, both now and forevermore. I would venture to add that He even will show us joy in the training of our children and help us to find humor in situations we may have previously only seen as dreadfully exasperating. Keep in mind that for every interaction you have with your child, you are still in His presence—He is with you; He does not rebuke you; He wants to help you.

So it is my prayer (and I include myself) that like Solomon, God would give you “wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore.” (I Kings 4:29)  Parenting is too big and too important a calling to rely on our own resources. We need wisdom from above. Our children are too precious to leave it out of the equation.