Thursday Thoughts for Moms: Peace to Pass On

It may be difficult to remember details of our childhood, but one thing that seems to be recall-able is the emotion associated with particular points of our history. Those difficult circumstances probably resulted in a certain amount of stress. Stress can be defined as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.”

As parents, the habits we’ve developed for handling the stresses of life are very important. Why? Because effective or not, these are the habits we pass on to our children. In my experience, moms are the ones kids will typically talk to about stressful things they are experiencing. It is also my experience that moms are often the ones who most ineffectively manage their own stress loads.

The chemicals released in the brain during periods of stress contribute to effects in the body such as rapid heart rate, higher blood pressure, and a weakened immune system. Unchecked stress can contribute to a host of mental and emotional disorders, including depression, anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks.

It is imperative then that we find effective strategies for coping with stress so that we can teach our children how to deal with their own. Reducing stress not only improves one’s state of mind—it can improve physical health as well. Reducing stress can boost the immune system and lower the risk of heart disease.

Some effective stress fighters are adequate sleep, relaxing activities, and healthy eating. I would offer that it’s also important to get to the roots of why one is stressed and to talk about it openly with someone you can trust. Sometimes this is the hardest part. Kids don’t always want to share what goes on in their day, let alone in their minds and hearts. And the same is true for many adults.

Some practical things we can do as moms to help our kids with their stress: 1) Realize that it’s very real—don’t try to minimize what they are feeling or experiencing. Instead, look for open doors to talk with them and to be a comfort. 2) Pray for them and with them. 3) Encourage them with the Word of God. 4) Get help ourselves when we need it, whether it means joining a Bible study or prayer group, having regular “breaks” from the daily routine, or seeking medication and/or counseling.

God knew that because of our human condition, we would have stress. He acknowledged stressful circumstances when He said, “In this world you will have trouble.” But we don’t focus on or bury ourselves under the trouble. He reminds us, “But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 14:27 tells us that we can actually partake of Jesus’ peace: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Philippians 4:6-7, which sometimes seems like an impossible directive to follow, says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” We have to teach our children to go to God and to seek His peace. There are dozens of such powerful, life-giving Scriptures.

Does showering our children with Scripture mean that they will not ever be stressed? No, but it keeps them aware that they are in God’s hands—they develop a habit of going to the Source, instead of into anxiety and depression—some of the enemy’s favorite territories. Does it mean that all issues will become suddenly manageable? No, sometimes there are issues that must be dealt with differently—they may be serious and may even require outside intervention or counseling.

But…as I said before, the way we deal with our stress can do wonders for our kids, as they learn by what they live. If what we say is contrary to what we do, our words will fall flat. Bottom line: we have to be healthy stress managers if we want our kids to be. We are to “seek peace and pursue it” (Psalm 34:14. That says to me that we have to go after it tenaciously—it’s not always going to be automatic, but it’s important enough to pursue—God wants us to pursue it.

Jesus left us a legacy of peace. Are we leaving that same legacy to our kids?