Thursday Thoughts for Moms: Does My Child Need to Stay Home From School?

I chose this topic simply because it's what's on my heart--or more accurately, my kids are on my heart--at this time. Their concerns, their struggles, their needs.

Sometimes it's very difficult as a mom to assess whether it's appropriate or not for a child to stay home from school. Are they really that sick? Can they basically tough it out, even though they may not feel well? It's such a gray area sometimes. If there is a fever or vomiting present, that makes the decision pretty clear-cut. But what about the times when that isn't the case?



As a mom, one of your strongest allies is your power of observation. How does your child normally act? Is he or she acting in a way that is somehow to an extreme, indicating that rest is required? This could be irritability, exhaustion, lack of appetite, forgetfulness—there could be many different indicators.




Yesterday, my son came home from school visibly tired. He then proceeded to sleep most of the afternoon and most of the evening away, missing a youth group event he would have otherwise enjoyed. He got up about 9:15 pm, ate a quick bite, then seemed to lose all energy again—he crawled into bed and fell asleep almost immediately. Not like him at all.


Sometimes there are other factors that contribute to an overall picture of “not doing well”-ness. In my son’s case, he had gotten stitches and a tetanus booster just the day before. He has also been struggling for many weeks with an, as yet, unresolved toe injury. Additionally, last spring he was diagnosed with Osgood Schlatter’s Disease, which affects the knee’s tendons during growing years and causes consistent pain. And his stress management skills are still…”under construction.” Before I began to piece all these things together, I started to feel uneasy last night about sending him to school.

Call it mother’s intuition if you like, but I would describe it as a check in my spirit—like I was getting a little forewarning from the Lord that it would not be wise to send Josiah to school. I knew his body was trying to heal from the injury that caused the need for stitches and trying to manage other pain on top of that. But I didn’t piece it all together until this morning.



This morning Josiah woke up with a really sore throat. He was very calm, and I could tell it hurt his throat to answer my questions—he didn’t try to “make a case” (which sometimes can be an indicator that a child is well enough to go to school) but instead seemed to be struggling even to answer. It was like something had zapped him, and he just didn’t have any spunk. My feelings of uneasiness about school were confirmed.

Could he have handled going? Maybe. Would he have been at his best? No. I also know that when his body is compromised, his mind can be as well. This can sometimes lead to responding to a situation in a way that is less than favorable—where under “healthier” circumstances, he would’ve been just fine. As a mom, you know your child—his or her strengths, weaknesses, coping mechanisms, and limitations. It is important to not coddle your child but to be aware and astute enough to know the difference between wanting to stay home from school and needing to.

Physical health days, mental health days…adults and children alike need both. Sometimes a short period of recuperation can do wonders not only for sickness but for one’s outlook. It’s so hard to focus if you are not feeling well, and school requires a great deal of that. And as a mom, you also know your child’s focusing abilities.

I also think it's important to consider that as adults, we can often handle more things on our plates than children can. Yes, children are resilient and adaptable, but it's wisdom to know when those skills are maxed out.

So, what it all boils down to is wisdom. When I was a kid, I pulled the wool over my parents' eyes numerous times--I'm sick; I don't feel good; I don't think I can make it to school. If you really know your child, you probably also know when he or she is playing you. And I would say with all adamancy--don't let them do that. But there are those times--which under normal circumstances should be few--that it's just best to keep a child home, even if the sickness isn't dire.




My advice in a nutshell: seek to know your child—ask the Lord to give you strong insights and wisdom so that when that day comes you find yourself not in the valley of decision but on the plains of security, where you will have peace in knowing that you made the right call.